Talking to Dogs

copyright, aaron paul lazar 2012

I've been talking to my dogs an awful lot lately.

Yep, there they are. Balto and Amber. See those big brown eyes? They are the best listeners in the world. Both dogs are bred to be "therapy" dogs, anyway, with Balto being half-King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and half-standard poodle and Amber, a female half-King Charles and half-Bichon. They are officially called Cavipoo and Cavichon, but I call them my best friends.

A few weeks ago when my wife was in the hospital and almost died on New Year's Eve (you can read about her near-death experience here), the dogs were left alone most of the day because Dale was in the hospital and I was at her side all day. The dogs seemed traumatized (like the rest of us) and every morning before I headed up to the hospital I took their soft little faces in my hands and looked them right in the eyes.

"You'll be okay today, Balto. Your mom'll come home soon. And I'll be back tonight, I promise. Everything will be okay and we'll get back to normal before you know it."

The anxiety in their faces was just so hard to take. So I tried each morning to calm them down, taking special care with both. Their usual routine is to lay on Dale's bed all day long - comforting her with their constant presence.

Was I really just calming myself down? It's possible. Self-comforting is a learned skill and I think I've mastered it over all the years and trials we've endured. Then again, I do believe dogs have souls and that they are the best example of how to behave on this planet. You've all seen the doggie emails that go 'round the web - the examples of how they love unconditionally, how they're always happy to see us, no matter what, how they are always at our side, etc. etc. Dogs are the best, aren't they?

Anyway, I find myself talking out loud to them more and more. Especially since my wife is now in a safe, downstairs bedroom (too tiny for two) and I'm upstairs all alone now, at least for a while. Well, I'm not really alone, because the dogs sleep with me and the three cats sleep with Dale. ;o)

So, each evening, I talk to them about which Midsomer Murder we'll watch, or when we're going to bed, or tell them about my dreams in the morning. Yeah. Really.

Am I nuts?

Maybe. I mentioned this to Dale this morning and she laughed. "You always talk to yourself, anyway, honey. And you know what they say about that!"

Uh-huh. You either have money in the bank, or you're nuts. Well, there's not much money in the bank, so...

I guess changing from talking to myself to talking to my dogs makes me seem a little saner? Who knows. ;o)

I'm just glad to have my buddies.

Aaron Lazar
www.lazarbooks.com

***

Aaron Paul Lazar writes to soothe his soul. An award-winning, bestselling Kindle author of three addictive mystery series, Aaron enjoys the Genesee Valley countryside in upstate New York, where his characters embrace life, play with their dogs and grandkids, grow sumptuous gardens, and chase bad guys. Visit his website at www.lazarbooks.com and watch for his upcoming Twilight Times Books releases, ESSENTIALLY YOURS (MAR 2012), TERROR COMES KNOCKING (FEB 2011), FOR KEEPS (MAY 2012), DON’T LET THE WIND CATCH YOU (APRIL 2012), and the author’s preferred editions of DOUBLE FORTÉ (FEB 2012) and UPSTAGED (JUNE 2012).

A Taste of Spring

It's mid January in upstate New York. Today I have to switch gears into eagle-eye mode, and go through the print ARC of Terror Comes Knocking, book two in Moore Mysteries. My publisher, Lida Quillen of Twilight Times Books (newly announced as a Writers Digest top 100 market for writers!), is pushing hard this year to get a good chunk of my work out in the next six months. Two books this month, and one per month through June. So, needless to say, I haven't had a lot of time to sit and work on my WIP, nor luxuriate in the pure pleasure of writing. It's been synopses and back cover blurbs, cover art tweaks, and so much editing I can hardly see straight.

I'm not complaining. Honest. I'm thrilled that we'll be able to catch up with publishing the books I've been writing within the next few years. Only four more to tweak after these are out. Once we're done, it'll give me more freedom to think about and focus on one book at a time. Maybe then I'll be able to remember what all of my characters are up to without having to scratch my head and wonder which series I'm in.

But I'm not writing this little piece today to chronicle my "to do" list. No. I wanted to tell you that in this third week of January up here in the cold northeast, I had a glimpse of spring yesterday!

The weather has been strange all over this year, hasn't it?  Our first "real" snow storm in Rochester came about a week ago. We've only been plowed out once so far! And we've had plenty of 40 and 50 degree days where rain fell instead of snow. Matter of fact tomorrow it's supposed to soar to the forties again.

So, it was rather appropriate when we finally got a real cold snap over the past few days. The thermometer hovered under eleven degrees this morning, and didn't go above twenty-three yesterday. But while we were running errands all morning -- mostly delivering and picking up Balto and Amber from their wonderful groomer, Bonnie Mason -- the sun shone so strong and so hard that it became unbearably hot in the van.

I unzipped layer after layer, enjoying the sites of the snow-covered hills. The beauty of our area --  glacier-carved rolling hills and lakes -- never fails to astound me. I feel the old jaw constantly dropping while driving around the curvy roads I've traveled thousands of times. It affects me the same way every time.

But there was something about that sun warming my skin, the intense white purity that poured into the van, that shot a signal through my body and brain.

Spring. It's coming.

Tomatoes. Peas. Soft soil slipping through my fingers. The thrum of the tiller churning through the dirt. Ripe round fruits hanging from the vines.


Oh, yeah. It's coming.

Pretty soon I'll be pulling back the black plastic and checking the moisture level in the soil. Too wet to plant? Or dry enough to get those early March peas in the ground.

I feel my garden engine humming. It's going to be so good this year, not like last year's swampy disaster. Well, sure, we had a garden, but it was so soupy all spring and summer that it probably will go down in history as one of the worst producers regarding quantity and quality.

But not this year. Oh, yeah. It's gonna be good.

Now, where's my Stokes Seeds catalog?


***

 The author and three of his grandchildren

Aaron Paul Lazar writes to soothe his soul. An award-winning, bestselling Kindle author of three addictive mystery series, Aaron enjoys the Genesee Valley countryside in upstate New York, where his characters embrace life, play with their dogs and grandkids, grow sumptuous gardens, and chase bad guys. Visit his website at www.lazarbooks.com and watch for his upcoming Twilight Times Books releases, ESSENTIALLY YOURS (MAR 2012), TERROR COMES KNOCKING (FEB 2011), FOR KEEPS (MAY 2012), DON’T LET THE WIND CATCH YOU (APRIL 2012), and the author’s preferred editions of DOUBLE FORTÉ (FEB 2012) and UPSTAGED (JUNE 2012).

A Message From God

copyright 2012, Aaron Paul Lazar

My wife almost died on New Years Eve.

I've been married to Dale for 30 years, and we've been together forever even before we were married. We've been soul mates from the beginning, and I can hardly remember a day when we weren't side by side.

Life has been good to us in multiple ways. We always loved horses, and before we had our children, we enjoyed many years of wonderful rides in the rolling hills of the Genesee Valley. We'd canter through the fields, the old canal path, and thrilled to the beauty of nature, frequently satisfying our primal urge to explore.

Our biggest blessing, however, was the gift of our three beautiful daughters. And now we've been equally blessed with four wonderful grandchildren.

But life has also been fraught with a fair share of challenges. One of these is Dale's MS. She was diagnosed in 1990, and has suffered a great deal in the past few decades.

On Christmas, 2011, I contracted the worst virus of my life. It was like a cold, but it also gave me fevers, chills, total exhaustion, and I ended up with bronchitis and a sinus infection. I missed the whole Christmas vacation, and ended up infecting Dale, whose lungs succumbed. It turned into pneumonia, and on New Year's Eve, right in the middle of the family dinner/game night, her breathing suddenly got terrible and we had to call the ambulance to bring her to the hospital.

In the ED she was diagnosed with pneumonia and sepsis. She almost died that night. We had to make decisions about "do not resuscitate," and other horrible options.

But my dear survived, after many hours of worry. The next day, she was in the ICU. That evening she had a "dream" that felt so much more real than any dream she's ever had, we're calling it a vision. She can't stop talking about it.

Life for Dale in general was filled with suffering, and no matter what new meds we tried or what alternative solutions we went after, there seemed to be no solution to her symptoms. She's always believed in God and Heaven, but I knew she was feeling rather forsaken over the past decade.

She doesn't feel this way anymore...

During this startlingly real vision, Dale traveled through a dark tunnel. "It wasn't scary. It was peaceful and warm," she said. At the end of the tunnel, she was met by a brilliant, warm light. (I know, you've heard about this from others. Guess this is another confirmation that it really happens!)

"It was so overwhelming, I felt like I was being embraced by God, but it wasn't just an outward hug, His whole being went into mine, and I felt Him become one with me. I couldn't see Him, it was just pure, warm light. I felt so peaceful, more so than I ever have in life. I could see things clearly, not like in this life where all the colors are dull to me. The colors were brilliant, vivid, and beautiful. I felt like He enveloped me with His love, that His whole being came into mine, comforting me. I have never felt so wonderful in my entire life, and I didn't want to leave Him, it felt so good."

She said at one point she got a glimpse of Hell, a dark and scary place. At first she was afraid she'd go there, but then she got her hug from God. She also glimpsed something incredibly beautiful on the sides of the light - she vaguely remembers colorful, riotous gardens.

This one amazing moment in her life -- something she's needed for a long time -- told her so much. "God is giving me strength to carry on. I felt Him urging me to take care of myself, to do the right things for my body. And now I know that when this life is over, I will be with Him. There's nothing to be afraid of now. We're preparing to join Him in what will be our ultimate reward. It's so comforting, because you know what's there for you afterwards."

Dale is not a super religious person. She doesn't go to church. She doesn't read the Bible. She's pretty much isolated from society, due to her illness. But she's always lived her life with true Christian values. She shows great strength and compassion. She has amazing empathy for others, and she never asks for anything except lots of good books to read.

In the past few years, she's been horribly depressed, always asking, "why is this happening to me?" and never receiving any answers. She's also usually more of a skeptic than believer when it comes to miracles. But this experience changed her completely.

Now we both know - no matter what happens in this life, it's just the beginning, just the trial we endure before we reach our true life, the one where God holds us in his embrace, where beautiful gardens abound, and where we will feel the most wonderful, blossoming joy and happiness that it all will have been worth it.

I'll never forget the expression on Dale's face when she told me about this - she couldn't stop talking about it, she was enthused, inspired, her eyes alight. I've never seen her like this, and the strength and power of His message has stayed with her.

No, it wasn't a dream. It was so much more than that; it was a message from God.

"Hang in there," He told her. "You can do this. I am here for you."

She wants everyone to hear about her experience, and I'm happy to be her voice.

Heaven is real. God is waiting. And I, for one, am looking forward to it. Especially if those gardens don't grow weeds. ;o)

***

Aaron Paul Lazar writes to soothe his soul. The award-winning and bestselling Kindle author of three addictive mystery series, Aaron enjoys the Genesee Valley countryside in upstate New York, where his characters embrace life, play with their dogs and grandkids, grow sumptuous gardens, and chase bad guys. Visit his website at www.legardemysteries.com and watch for his upcoming Twilight Times Books releases, ESSENTIALLY YOURS (MAR 2012), TERROR COMES KNOCKING (FEB 2011), FOR KEEPS (MAY 2012), DON’T LET THE WIND CATCH YOU (APRIL 2012), and the author’s preferred editions of DOUBLE FORTÉ (FEB 2012) and UPSTAGED (JUNE 2012).