Aaron Paul Lazar

How Do You Know When...

...you've spent too much time with little ones?

Here's how:

Last week on Mother's Day, in addition to a special card I made for my wife, I bought her a bottle of wine from one of our local wineries, Hunt Country. I'd been there a few years ago for a "mystery tour" book signing, and had the pleasure of meeting their gorgeous dog, "Gus." Of course, it was a special treat, since my main character in LeGarde Mysteries is Gus LeGarde. I arrived early for the event, and this wonderful dog followed me on a long walk through the vineyards. I just found out that Gus, a Bernese Mountain Dog, passed away and the new label, "Sweet Gus," is a rose' in memory of him. Sniff. He was so lovely.

Anyway, I bought a bottle of "Sweet Gus" for my wife, and when my daughter offered to go get it for us in the other room, I said, "Get the bottle with the D-O-G on the label."

My wife looked at me and smiled. "What, I can't spell now?"

I'd been spelling all week around the kids, in spite of the fact that my oldest grandson now knows how to spell almost everything. And what? I didn't think my wife would know what I was talking about? I laughed so hard at my idiocy that it took me a half hour to stop the tears and chuckles. I'm such a dope!

***

And how do you know when you've become too close with your dog?

When every time you leave the house - to mow the lawn, to get the mail, or to go food shopping - he jumps all over you like you've been gone for weeks. And on top of that, Balto has now taken to raiding my dirty laundry basket. Yup. You guessed it. When I'm gone, he drags out my jeans, tee shirts, socks, and even...er... underwear. He lays his head on these smelly treasures and growls when anyone comes near them.

What's he telling me?

That he'll be really upset when I start my new job in a few weeks.

Drat. I don't know how he'll get through it...

As happy as I am that I'm now employed again... I'm going to miss my family and this big brown eyed goofball.

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